Episode LXXIX: Guardian of the Seas
August 7, 2009
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Posted by Dr. Disaster
The new episode of Villainy INC is out. M stepped in for Walrus King this week because he had to go on vaction. Stupid jerk. I wasn’t too hot on this episode when I recorded it (we were both really tired), but after editing it I really enjoy it. You can listen to it below.
[podcast]http://www.evillairproductions.com/podcast/ep79.mp3[/podcast]
Topics range from Aqua Man, to kick ass last names, to even talk of misleading website names.
Also just reminder that we have again declared Marshal Law and only comments posted in this blog post will be read out on next week’s episode. If you send us an email and expect us to read it out on air next week you will be very disappointed.
UPDATE: J just reminded me that I completely forgot to put a youtube video in the post! The shame I feel is immeasurable. Although I’ve already put this video up on the site before, it’s still funny and perfectly ties into what we were talking about in the episode. Plus I put it up on the old site so that doesn’t count. Big ups to J for recommending this one.
What’s sad is that this kid friendly version of Watchmen is STILL cooler than Aqua Man.
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Just to make this clearn: The English version isn’t THAT horrible, just compared to the Japanese one!
FYI: Laura Shigihara is the chick who did the English version and the Japanese version for the PvZ song (as well as all ingame music).
Further, unfortunately I’m not Japanese but you really got my name’s pronunciation very well! kudos to dr. d! I’m Swiss (yes an evil evil neutral guy…. see older episode).
Also Osiris sucks at making websites! And was nice to hear M again.
This should be this weeks Youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w
NASA wouldn’t handle the zombie stuff for America, that would be the department of homeland defense, which my dad actually works in conjunction with. I’m still trying to convince him that America really needs a zombie plan, but he doesn’t think the generals will go for it. >.> But I will keep fighting the good fight to make America Zombie safe.
Another awesome name is Villar, my friend has that last name and I just think it’s so cool.
I’ve seen someone wear the beanie with the pinwheel on it. And a pocket protector, at the same time. I was walking around in the Mall of GA (Yes, I live in Georgia, but I was born and raised in California, so I’m not southern). I can’t really judge him though, since I was walking around in a cape, my friend was wearing cat ears, and the two other girls with us were wearing Harry Potter Costumes….
For Video blogs, you could give everyone a chance to make video blogs, just do random stuff on camera and submit it to you guys. That way it can involve the community, and you guys. You can do video blogs for talking and fun stuff and then you can select maybe one every 2 weeks from a listener. Or you can give like a specific topic, and then whoever does the best video about a certain topic gets their video put in the video blog.
Also, Dr. Disaster, have you seen Black Cat? It’s a great little anime, and I’d suggest it to anyone. I don’t know if it’s on TV, I usually watch my anime from Netflix, but it’s absolutely fantastic, addicting, and pretty funny.
On the Suicide thing.
Im not sure M sees the big picture. People say that they would fight for survival and all that. But even if zombies exists in the most harmless form (shufflers?) they still open a window for every other abomination known to man and as we all know, man is very creative in hideous things. So in short if I found out that even a fraction of all monsters actually exist my mind would snap like a twig.
And some Questions for the hosts on the topic (And the commenter’s)
What fictional monster do you want to exist the least and what monster mythical being would you want to exist the most?
My worst is The headcrabs from Half-life. (I still cant play those games because of those).
Im yet to find a favorite…
And Hi Faded Twilight
This is mail for the next podcast:
Great to hear M back on the show, she’s always funny.
Korean life’s entertaining, I’d like to hear more.
Rebel is quite a badass name, but according to Cracked.com, there’s a guy in the army called Staff Sergeant Fightmaster. Yeah, that’s right, Fightmaster. The name to end all names.
For user-generated content,you could get listeners to write short 1 or 2 minute sketches to perform on air, or better yet perform the to camera as video blogs. Two birds hit with one stone.
By the way, wish me luck, I’m ‘holidaying’ to Yorkshire for a week to visit estranged relatives.
Yorkshire. Defining features: Hills, Fog, Rain, and satanic-strength tea.
Ah well, not all’s lost, maybe I’ll find some sweet northern lass to join me for a Flirtini between torrential downpour.
kiss kiss
Theremin
P.S. hi ojii & faded twilight!
Oh. on the topic of Fonts. what font do you use in your logo? (That is still Osiris best achivement)
Actually, I’d like to say that I do, in fact, see the big picture. Why? Because Zombies aren’t actually real.
And I still stand by the fact that I wouldn’t be a pussy and I’d fight until the bitter end.
Thank you
P.S. And Theremin is officially my favorite listener.
Why, thanks very much M, you’re not too bad either.
My zombie plan: Grab blunt object (guns are nigh unobtainable in England).
Get to a block of flats, and destroy the stairs leading up to the second floor.
Survive by scrounging food from apartments & collecting rainwater on roof.
Befriend ferret to stop self from going insane.
Wait 7 months, see what happens…
@M:
your much braver than me. Or perhaps the statement is based on that zombies doesn’t really exist.
@Theremin:
Theres supplies for 7 moths? how many apartments are there?
Usually about 30 apartments in a block of flats, and if each flat has just a weeks food, I’m ok.
Only If you kill ALL the other residents. Also hope the power don’t go out depending on the size of the outbreak.
All the other residents will already be dead. Anyway, I’ve got torches, and night vision goggles.
I was talking about the food. No power = no cooling = no fresh food = trouble.
Well you see, the working classes, bless ‘em, they likes their tinned food, so there’ll be plenty of that about.
Combine that with a tin opener & a camping stove, and I’m set.
(Oh, and preserves in jars, they last a long time, right?).
hm… Is it wise to base a plan on what working class have? it still assumes that everyone in the building left and got zombified outside. Its more likely that half the residents are walking around in there zombiefied. my bets on the prison. Proper barricades is the key here. It has large areas of fertile land and plenty of housing for survivors. proper restraints for possible infected.
I had considered a prison, particularly one built in 1960′s (high walls, lock & key doors etc.) and indeed for the long term that would be great, but I was thinking short term, coupled with an easy to reach location.
But isn’t a prison even more likely to be filled with the undead?
I mean, the whole point was that people would be locked in, and, what if some of the inmates were holed up there? They’re more dangerous than the zombies.
the trick with the prison is to get the (surviving) inmates to join forces with you against the zombies. but either way, it’s still risky. i still go with an inner city high school because i’m bigger than a lot of high school kids now. along with everything i’ve previously mentioned.
also, for the record, i’m not a stupid jerk. a jerk, sure, but stupid… tsk tsk tsk. i’m a f—ing genius.
well the prison that I’m thinking of is now a hotel and pretty much empty off season since all the tourist will be zombie elsewhere but even if it is populated ill take my chances because if I need to choose between one who could possibly crack my head open and one who will eat my intestines with its bare hands and then turn me to a abomination ill take my chances with the skull cracker. and the chances of a zombie infestation is low in comparison because the thing with heavy steel doors and walls is that they work both ways.
And the inmates will probably be locked in anyway because if they get the chance of escaping they usually do.
In short:
Supplies: High (usually canned due to the nature of prison food)
Protection: Perfect
Mobility: Low
Space: High
Chances of fellow survivors: High (Prisoners make good muscle if they’re not crazy)
Chance of zombie siege: Low (some Zombies tend to gather around places they did in life like malls because its a basic instinct. basic instinct is to stay the hell away from prisons.)
I win with best zombie plan ever
@TWK: I don’t know how you build schools in the US but our Schools don’t look anything like prisons.
I saw a private school once that was basically a converted castle. High, high walls, big wood and iron doors, the only path to the entrance was long and uphill. Sounds grat, right? Plus, school dinners mean there would be food there.
Would anyone head to a military base? That seems like an obvious choice.
I read a book over the holidays called World War Z, and it basically concluded that most of us are screwed in the zombie apocolypse.
1. Going north would work until they thawed in the summer
2. Everyone runs to the boats, so a load of people die there
3. The governments have a plan whereby they retreat with a few people and a bit of the army to safe places, meanwhile herding everyone else to be killed by zombies to buy them time
4. A big problamo was that ‘The Zombie Wars’ went on for years, so to live you’d have to find a sustanable way of reproducing supplies (like farming)
5. Although the zombies can’t swim, they don’t require air so they can walk along the ocean floor
Anyway, read the book. Not only is it awesome, but you’ll get a better picture than my shoddily put together bullet points…
Also, the only reason I’d move to America is because they’d do so much better in a zombie apocolypse, seeing as there are a hell of a lot of guns to loot.
As for me, I’d either commit suicide, run around confused/screaming and then get killed somehow, or get a shovel or something and either go rambo or head over to some appartments and destory the stairs a la Theremin.
I’m basing a lot of my plans on the writings of Max Brooks too.
Anyway, I’d be happy to have you join me and the ferret in the apartment fortress, it’d make scavenging a hell of a lot easier…
Yay. And when we get too hungry we can start eating each other. It’s the perfect plan.
1. Going north have no relevance since in order to go far enough north to have any effect on the zombies you are also making your own survival harder. Even then theres no way of knowing what effect cold have on zombies. Cold could even make the zombies last longer if they decompose.
2. Good point. major traffic nodes should be avoided.
3. No way of knowing any of this since finding cover is first priority before getting information from the outside world
4. always a good thing to raid a flower shop or something to get lots of good soil. But it could also be a very short zombie outbreak. If they decompose like humans do they should be Immobile fairly quickly depending on season
5. Yes we all saw Pirates of the Caribbean but that pretty unlikely because if you assume a zombie is composed of the same matter as the human its based on he shouldn’t have enough weight in order to get enough traction on the ocean floor.
I don’t get why guns are always so good against zombies in movies/games. any gun that is not a shotgun just pokes holes in it. unless your a really good shot tough. most zombies have the same form of mobility as us even if their organic structure is different. Which means that if i get to chose between a handgun and a axe
….I would go with the weapons that can destroy limbs
Replica weapons? Claymore, katana, mace etc…
I’d go with the shotgun. A perrennial favorite of the zombie killer, it’s semi long ranged so the zombies don’t come anywhere near your barricade, and if you run out of bullets and they DO come near your barricade then you can use it as a blunt object.
As for where I’d barricade myself, I’d go to the nearest Wal-mart, fend off the other locals, and hole up in the camping section. Either that or become a nomad…
Shotguns are only good in short range. preferably point blank or it wont do any good damage. A Zombie is usually defined by that they are animated corpses. being dead theres no guarantee that the muscles or any soft tissue actually have anything to do with its movement. therefore you need weapons that break bones and sever limbs and shotguns at long range only damage soft tissue. for long range something with a high caliber and large exit wounds would be good and for short range I would choose a big axe or something. I don’t think wal-mart is a very good idea because it will be infested fast and it is a type of building zombies like gathering at.
I know nothing about guns, so I’ll shut up.
Welcome to the comments section, Tex!
You’re British, so you’re excused Theremin. I don’t know why I’m talking like that though, seeing as I have no gun knowledge myself. As I said before, I’d go Shawn of the Dead on them with a shovel.
Or, I could just drink tea in a top hat and monocle them to dead.
But a cricket bat would be nice…
‘And this is for the Ashes…and oh!…he’s cracked it’s skull, brains are going everywhere, thats two runs for a duck, leg before wicket.’
I think I like this new scenario best.
and if that fails you’d make a awesome zombie.
Top Hat zombie wants pauper’s brains…
Just in response to the ‘Korean Life’ bit in this episode, I was reading a cracked article when it had a bit on a Korean DS game that was basically a Korean dictionary. It was called Touch Dic. Just thought it was funny and maybe slightly relevant (the horror).
@ollie Haha I haven’t seen that game yet.
Relevance = madness, and following the Not[madness] = Sparta theory as described by Leonidas this *must* be an internet meme!
/gasp
Ollie, I saw the same article. The best item is the i.beat.blaxx music player.
Yeah, I think that should have been have been #1. Just wondering, do cracked do their lists/countdowns/whatever in an actually order (1 being the best/funniest), or are they all randomly ordered. Becuase often I find that 5 is hilarious and 1 isn’t amazing.
I think the order is arbitrary.
Dr.D, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go and find Touch Dic.
I’ll be sure to take a picture of it if I can find it haha.
Mom- “Honey, do you want Touch Dic for Christmas?”
Child- “……….Yes.”
Child-” Oh goodie, I can play it with Uncle Lance in the go-go dancing club!”
seriously? its a large corporation and not a single person on the company knew English good enough to spot that?